Self Belief, Gratitude, Leadership..
by TSK Raman

I received an email recently from a young man Gopalakrishnan, whom I had met once in 1990! He was a college student at the time; I was heading the team that went for a campus placement in a leading college in South India, and just as I was starting out in the introduction of the company I was then with. He asked me for a time to speak to me in person for including his batch mates too for the campus-recruitment process. They were doing their BCA, where as we had indicated to the placement committee that we would only meet up with B.Tech.(CS)/MCA and M.Tech. (CS). Though we never expected that and since I couldn’t commit until I spoke to the team, I only told the young man that he can meet me after three hours. He did, but I had to regret our inability to change from the original schedule. He was pretty heart broken.

In his email he wrote, “While I barely remember anything you said regarding software professionals, I do remember you talking to me about the power of
dreams, goals and positive thinking.”

He then went on to say, “Mr. Raman you were the first person I ever met who gave me the belief that I could achieve anything I set my mind to….Yesterday I was talking to a friend about the power of belief and she asked me how I developed such conviction. I told her it has been a process, but the light went on during my conversation with you sixteen years ago. Since then I have set and attained many goals that truly stretched me.”

Now before you start to wonder, “What’s the point of this?” I’ll tell you. What I did for that young man was not nearly as much as what that young man has done for himself over the past 16 years. I just planted the seed and got him started. He’s the one that made it happen.

For me, I’m not looking for credit. What I get is the satisfaction of knowing that I was able to impact someone else’s life in a positive way and maybe,
because of my actions, he will influence others in that same positive way (Which I suspect he may have already done in the aforementioned conversation he had with a friend of his).

The power of belief is one of the best gifts you can give a person. It’s something that can stay with them for the rest of their lives and enable them to do things they never thought possible.

Every one of us has the power to influence others. Now while it may be much easier to knock the ideas, dreams and goals of others, or just say, “What are
you, crazy; that can’t be done,” believe me, it’s a lot more satisfying to encourage others that the sky is the limit and the only thing holding them back is their own self-imposed limitations.

It’s probably the only thing holding you back too. Today this young man, hold a key position in a large multi-national bank and is into Treasury management.

There was another instance and this happened a few months ago.
A young man called me on the phone and identified himself as Arvind and asked me if that name rings a bell in me.

I quickly ran my brain around and told him that there are three name that cross my mind – one is very senior person in life and he never ever called me over phone, and the other is too junior and he too has never called me ever on the phone. That leaves me with just one Arvind whom I had recruited, against several odds and opposition and that too way back in 1992-3. And that I heard he went off to the Asian Institute of management Phillipines to do his MBA, after which I’ve no idea about him. I stopped and I asked him now tell me are you that Arvind.

He was elated and said, “yes sir that very same Arvind. I can never ever forget the first break I got in life, I still preserve my first appointment letter with your signature on it. I also recall very fondly the several number of hours we spent at work and off work mulling over life. I also remember those wonderful things you told me to understand and take care off in order to make a good career. I’ve done precisely that Sir. After finishing my MBA @ the AIM, Philippines, I got a campus placement that took me to the other side of the globe to the US. I worked on Consulting assignments focusing on Finance. Later was involved in merger and acquisitions and evaluations, which gave me terrific insight into business. I am today working out of India advising some of my customers who are actively pursuing acquisitions and mergers of Indian companies especially on the technology side.”

Well this young man has really grown up enormously, but what struck me most was his modesty. The calmness and the gratitude in his voice was evident.
I asked him about his family – his parent, his wife and children etc., and asked him “what can I do for you now?”
To which he replied, “nothing sir, absolutely nothing, this call was mainly to reconnect, and to tell you that I remember you, and to thank you for the goodwill you have for me.”
It was indeed very touching, but Arvind ought to know that I’ve done this to so many more people, and all of it without any expectation what-so-ever.
But when things like this happen, I feel really touched. This world has a few people like Arvind. My prayer goes out to the almighty, to increase their
tribe.

I know for sure Arvind will, one day not too far away, become a leader.
Finding great leaders has been about as rare as winning the lottery. In today’s society, where we confuse heroes with celebrities, it’s become even
harder. In companies, organizations, universities, athletic teams and governments there is such a void in leadership that our standards have become compromised. Very often we tend to confuse what makes a great leader with some conventional facade.

Great leaders are defined by the atmosphere they create and the accomplishments of the people who follow them. Do you let those followers go on to bigger and better things and eventually outshine you?

Great leaders create an environment where failure is not fatal. They also set high standards, but within those parameters they constantly encourage
individuality, creativity and new ideas. They understand that innovation comes from the bottom up; from the people closest to the action.

Where we tend to get confused is by leaders who motivate through fear and intimidation. Fear is not a motivator. In fact, fear is the world’s greatest
de-motivator! The fear of being singled out; the fear of being yelled at; the fear of being fired; or the fear of being benched by the coach; all these fears,
created by pseudo-leaders, create followers who will not challenge the status quo; voice their opinions; come up with innovative ideas; or, try to stretch the
limits of their ability.

The followers become frozen by the fear of failure rather than exhilarated by the prospect of success. It now becomes easier to be like everyone else, keep your mouth shut, and just go along with the crowd.

Pseudo-leaders say all the right things, “Speak up if you have something to say;” “Don’t be afraid to voice your ideas, or concerns;” “I don’t want a group of yes-men. I want people who will disagree with me.” Unfortunately, when you take them up on their offer, you can be ostracized, fired, or just slapped down; sending a clear message to everyone else to, “Go with the flow.”

Great leaders don’t worry about who gets the credit. Their credit comes from the success of the team and the ultimate success of the team members later on in life. They’re never concerned about one of their people outshining them. On the contrary, they’re proud of it. They take joy in the accomplishments of others and never forget to recognize and applaud achievement, especially among their own people.