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ANGER = SELF POISON
Human Resources » Motivation & Leadership


Chrm Message From: Raman Bharadwaj Total Posts: 39 Join Date: 06/06/2006
Rank: Executive Post Date: 27/07/2006 12:28:28 Points: 240 Location: India
ANGER = SELF POISON
By Raman Bharadwaj

England lost its place from the World Cup and one of the reasons is that they lost their star Wayne Rooney because the dynamic striker was “red carded.”

There is, they say, a scorpion found in South America which when angered, becomes so furious that it stings itself with its own poison and dies. This is a fitting climax to anger, because anger is, indeed SELF poison.

I was reading a column in one of the dailies and it is quoted that Wayne Rooney is guilty of losing his cool quite too often. The paper also quotes that he seems to be also attending counseling skills on “anger management.”

For time immemorial, from the times of the first recorded wisdom, we’ve all been advised to control our emotions.

How many of us are guilty of SELF poisoning ourselves with “anger?”

The ancient Greek philosopher, Pythagoras quotes, “Anger begins in folly and ends in repentance.”

Is this what the LTTE is doing by being apologetic about the assassination of our former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi?

Modern psychology would add that, while anger often is openly and vehemently expressed, the repentance which follows usually repressed and festers in various forms of self-guilt and subconscious.

The back lash of our anger usually whips against our own feverish flesh and leaves scars which the future may never heal and which regret may never hide.
As John Webster said, “There is not in nature a thing that makes a man so deformed, so beastly as does intemperate anger.”

A little story to illustrate this point – (Anonymous).

There was a young boy who lost his temper very often.
One day he asked his father what should he do to control this.
The father went straight to the attic and brought with him a pound of nails and a hammer.
He gave them to his son and told him, “every time you feel like getting angry take a nail and go and hammer it on the gate.”
The boy listened to his father and every time he would get angry he would go and hammer a nail into the gate. In a few days the gate was full of nails, but his anger still remained. He went back to his father once again and told him that the gate has been filled with the nails he had hammered whenever he got angry. The father asked him begin removing the nails this time whenever he got angry.
The boy listened to his father once again and did so. In a few days all the nails from the gate were removed, and the boys anger was gone. He ran to his father and told him about this good feeling he had inherited because of the exercise.
The father led the boy to the gate and expressed his happiness, however showed him the scars that were left by hammering the nail and then removing them out.
The father summed up, “Every time we get angry on someone we leave as many scars.”

Coming back, anger hurts the one who possesses it even more than the one on whom anger is directed. And this is nothing but SELF poison. But let us not overlook the certainty that our anger also hurts others. And, in hurting others, we might make them turn hostile and in turn aim their anger against us.

The psychological “need to conquer” is as false as it is ineffective. It is much safer to reconcile an enemy that to conquer. A reconciled enemy may not be an enemy any longer, but a conquered enemy remains an enemy still, and is all the more vindictive.
You can assign most of your duties to the others but only you can forgive your enemies.
So even if you can’t love your enemies, do not hate them. Being adversaries, they exercise your initiative and develop your strength. Being provocateurs, they challenge your discipline to keep cool.

And by keeping cool, you keep control…control over others… control over circumstances..

That is the condition worthy of your continuing efforts. It is the QUIET MIND.

Are you hearing this “Wayne” because you are tipped to lead your country some day.

Hope you will get to listen to this some time before it is too late, because an angry leader is a poor leader.

In his time Bjorn Borg was called “ice berg” but many do not know that when he was a kid he broke a racket after losing a match, and his mother promptly packed his tennis kit and told him to give up his tennis. It took a lot of pleading apology and coaxing that changed his mothers thinking on letting him continue with his tennis career, but not before the mother asked Borg to promise to her that he will never ever lose his cool on and off the court. No wonder he became a legend. No wonder his clashes with John McEnroe were legendary too as they were “temperamentally” poles apart and more often than not Borg emerged victorious.

And finally we all know what France's Zizou did in the World Cup final lost his cool and butted Italy's Mattarazzi  - it cost Frane the "Cup" and nearly cost Zizou the Golden Ball the biggest prize any footballer  craves for in such an event.
Chrm Message From: CHRM Total Posts: 209 Join Date: 06/06/2006  
Rank: Coach Post Date: 28/07/2006 01:38:44 Points: 1045 Location: India

Knowing how to control anger is a valuable skill, as unchecked anger can ruin a life. When you’re angry, your emotional brain is in control. Your rational, thinking brain is not involved, so you become “stupid” and a unstable liability. Anger causes stress, and too much stress, if not handled properly, can be hazardous to the health.

Learning to relax is one of the most important anger management skills you can have. When you feel yourself getting angry, take a few deep breaths instead. Count to ten—or more if you need to—and let your anger subside.

Regards,

CHRM

"To win...you must stay in the game" - Claude Bristol

Chrm Message From: snehab Total Posts: 32 Join Date: 06/06/2006  
Rank: Executive Post Date: 04/06/2010 12:09:11 Points: 160 Location: India

Hey thanks for such awesome information. I agree anger does cost the one who is angry. I have also experienced the same. The longer you hold a grudge against anyone the longer you stay disturbed.

Its always best to let go.

Thanks

Sneha

 
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