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Let Me Tell You A True Story...
Self Excellence » Tales of Wisdom

Chrm Message From: Raman Bharadwaj Total Posts: 39 Join Date: 06/06/2006
Rank: Executive Post Date: 01/08/2006 06:35:53 Points: 240 Location: India

Let Me Tell You A True Story...

My friend Vijaykrishnan narrated this to me...and I connected it with some inspiration I got read a Blog Success & Inner strength

We used to live in a rented house, filling the pockets of our landlord with money. My father used to drive a run-down, junk-pile on wheels of a car wondering if it would last at least until his next payday. Foreign sounds were constantly letting him know that it would not last much longer. He couldn't keep a relationship going and didn't understand why. All this and he continued to read the success books, listen to the discourses, self-help columns in dailies and dream of the day we would have enough money, time and resources to achieve the life we always wanted.

He took the time to figure out why his life was headed nowhere fast. It wasn't a fast process - there was a lot of trial and error. It was the times when his family needed his money the most to run a large family that depended only on his income. He would change one job after another just if it paid him a few more rupees, and that was because of the dire need. The short version is after years of trying to figure out why he couldn't make his life "right", and exactly the way he wanted. He was tremendously talented, enormously read he discovered that the problem wasn't the material he was reading. It wasn't the discourses he was reading or what he was listening to. It wasn't any of the success material He was participating in. In fact, that was probably the one thing he was doing right. He realized that the problem was inside him. No. He didn't have a mental problem per se. But he did have a block.

His block was an emotional wall of doubt, dysfunction and disappointments. He called them the three "D's" of his life.

But I lived in it.

Doubt - Always questioning what he believed and who he was.

Dysfunction - Never having any consistency in life socially or in family.

Disappointment - a life of never achieving, succeeding or growing.

He unconsciously began developing a new process. Back in 1956 he started observing human behavior. He thought it would be great way to learn about himself. After realizing that he couldn't learn about himself by studying others, he began looking inside himself. That's when this whole thing started to take off. He discovered that what he was doing was what most people do. You see, most people don't deal with their own issues before trying to help others with the same issue.

Question: How can you help others without helping yourself first?
Answer: You can't.

The Best Four-Letter Word that you can use for yourself...

Do you feel loved? I'm talking about feeling loved by yourself and others? Well the best four-letter word you could ever learn is L-O-V-E. But don't just learn the word. Learn what the word means and how to use it. Love is a verb. Love is a decision. Decide now to act on love.

Live by these principles and watch your life personally grow by leaps and bounds:

1. Love Yourself
Have you ever heard the saying, "If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else."? Well that's just as true as saying, "If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else." Many people don't think a lot of themselves - period. So before you go trying to show love to others, and you feel like you may need some work on yourself, do that first. How?

Start by telling yourself that you love yourself. Simple right? You'd be surprised at how much negative self-talk people use. First step: pay attention to what you say to yourself, in your mind, throughout the day for one week. You'll be amazed at how many times you tell yourself things that automatically and subconsciously internalize feelings of inadequacy and un-love.

2. Love People In General
Once you've mastered self love, you're really in a position to love others. This is exciting. People are, by nature, social beings. We need others and we need love. If you put forth that element of love, you'll be pleasantly surprised at the level of peace and satisfaction you'll experience. Yes, this step comes with some risks. You may be hurt some day. But risks are all part of life and love. The rewards far outweigh the risks. So jump into life and soak up the juices of loving people.

3. Love The Process of Building Relationships
While you're getting to know people, you'll be going through a three step process I call the S.A.F. period. This is simple and the more you invest, the faster it will progress. You see the first step is 'S' which = Superficial
This is where you first meet someone. Both of you are trying to figure out the other person. You're trying to see if there are any personal boundaries, common ground, likes, dislikes, etc.
'A' = Acquaintance
This is where you know someone pretty well. You can talk to them. You're not necessarily threatened by them. You see them on occasion and are cordial.
'F' = Friend
This is where you want to be and where you feel the best about the relationship. This takes a little time to build and a little effort to establish the trust involved to call it a real friendship. Be prepared to have fun - real fun - when you reach this stage!
The best and fastest way to get to the 'F' stage is to sincerely Love the process of getting there.

4. Love As You Would Love To Be Loved
Another way to say this is, "Treat others how you would love to be treated." Or you could call it the Golden Rule. What it means in this context is, to love yourself means to love yourself how you want others to love you. It means to love others how you would want them to love you. It means treating others with respect, with kindness, with tenderness, with forgiveness, with mercy and above all - treat yourself and others with love.

Successful living involves giving. It involves sharing. It involves investing. Successful living involves so many facets of life. But most importantly, successful living involves love.

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